I was thinking on the way back from grocery shopping, and I realised that I had forgotten how to share my feelings with people. Before Silea, I was pretty expressive. I had opinions and I was vocal about them, unshy of the criticism that I may face from the people around me. I made friends that way, and I was happy.

When I was with Silea, I would tell her everything. As expressive as before, just focused on a single individual. I became more introspective, focusing on just the two of us, and barely made time for friends. After all, at least after the first year and a half, she was going to be the centre of my life.

Now, I've changed. I'm afraid of other people's negative reactions of my thoughts and feelings. I'm afraid of burdening people with my fears and daily problems. I find it difficult to trust people.

Maybe that's why I feel lost. My path ahead had been smeared away in a matter of minutes, and I had done nothing to stop it. Now, I'm directionless. A wave tossing in the ocean.

And I've run to my old blog to find release from this pain I feel.

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